Appa....Père...Padre....

June 19th is Father’s day... Sales and ads are enticing and inviting. When I grew up in India we know more about James Bond movies than about  “Father’s Day”. Now India has changed and is more global. My childhood memories of my Father were a combination of family, religion, and the culture of India. It was taken for granted that father is there to protect us and will get us what we want. All one has to do is to meet the expectations of being a good student and a good child by following the family rules. Also, we did not express our love and admiration openly by giving him a gift or card. .


As children we were brought up with so many “do’s and don’ts”. Both our parents somehow created a picture that discipline must not be compromised. We should be back in the house by 5:00pm to finish the home work and get ready for the evening prayers. My best memories are the after dinner walks he took us when we were children. My brother and I will hold each one of his hands and my father will carry my baby sister. We walk up to the huge mango tree at the turn of the street where he will stop and show us the stars in the sky. The Milky Way and the Great bear were explained with stories. If we continue on the left we will be going towards the YMCA Golf grounds and if we turn right we will end up for a small stopover at the Nayar’s tea stall. It is a small shack with candy jars and a hissing copper boiler which was used to make tea. My father used to buy some fruits as a treat for us even though I would have preferred the special candy made with grated coconut and Molasses which we call “Camarcut”. I am not sure why that candy was named like that. It sounded exotic and I liked the taste of it.

Another nostalgic memory of him was his love for books. His collections included novels, classics, philosophy, history, and poems. I remember seeing a very old edition of King’s English and a complete set of Bernard Shah’s novels published by Penguin. It started as a fun to browse his bookshelf and soon without my knowledge I started loving books and reading. He never attended our school day functions when we received prizes for our academic and extracurricular accomplishments. He was always busy with his work. It was my mother who took so much interest in our studies and reading books. His way of showing affection was a smile or an approving nod. Regardless, we knew that he loved us.
Over the years he mellowed down from a stern father into a loving person until he passed away in 1999. When he was in the US, I joked that I owed him so many Father’s day gifts and cards for all the missed years. Even now sometimes I wonder whether I told him enough of “how much I love him”. Unfortunately, we grow up or wake up only when people are gone. That is why I think those who celebrate Father’s Day every year are lucky. At least one gets a chance to express love and affection openly even if it is thru a card or word or a nod!.

Happy Father's Day!

Peace on Earth!

All content copyright © by Sobana Iyengar.